It’s been a month since my last blog!

Loads has happened this month!

My birthday was huge and sparked fun times with new people. I was out and partying socialising and having insane fun every night for weeks following my birthday, which in itself was amazing fun!

After a whirlwind few weeks following my birthday, of going out every night, my social life settled back down somewhat, when some of those people left Korea to go back to their home countries.

When one of those people, who I liked and connected with, left Korea, I felt upset, but it made me realise two things:

Firstly as I get older and know myself better I am lucky enough to encounter people who have more similar values and ways of dealing with life. I have noticed a trend of this happening lately and am keen to believe that it is because “like attracts like”. The more strongly I live a certain way the more likely I am to attract friends and lovers who have the same beliefs and actions. Also, now that I am clearer on what I believe I want or deserve in relationships I seem to be getting this. This further encourages me to think about what I want and focus on that, so that I can make decisions that get me there.

Secondly I realise that in everything there is a beginning and an end, even though I have struggled to accept this, I am often reminded that this is true and am beginning to accept it.

I believe that as humans we really want things to last forever. When times are good we want them to last forever, when we get a new pair of shoes that we really like we want them to last forever, despite wearing them every day. As Nietzsche said:

All joys want eternity,
Want deep profound eternity.

I know this is true for me, as the memory of the feeling of the dropping sensation of loss is palpable: whether I am thinking of the childhood memory when I realised the school trip I was on was soon to end, or the end of an adult love affair, or the death of a family member. As soon as I am consciously thinking “this is amazing” and comparing it to other joyful times; the joyful time has gone, like winter’s memory of summer: I am already looking backwards.

Everytime I write this blog it is at the end of one chapter of life when it has ended and I can look back with perspective, I can never write it while I am “in” that time, if I tried to do that I would force a premature end to those times.
Despite me, and indeed, most humans clinging to the idea of eternity, nature constantly reminds us that nothing is eternal: that change is the only constant. Seasons change, but change again, plants are eaten, but for another animal to live, animals die, but for another to live.

And times, periods, chapters, joyful times, great times with certain people, ends and changes!

BUT HEY – it goes the other way too: as downright shit, depressing, confusing, sad, scary and dangerous times also have an end and change into, erm… well… periods, chapters, great times, joyful times, and sometimes great times with certain people again… in a different time or way… ;o)

I get happier the more I accept this and as I get older and am noticing these examples where I am reminded of this, I am becoming more accepting that things change, things end. Now I am more trusting, having faith of what will come next and being thankful and happy of what I had: rather than being childlike and petulant and kicking and screaming and fighting to change the course of things, to postpone an ending of a time that may only be a temporary one. I am not a little power monger of my own life: I am like water, efficiently moving in the flow and trusting.

So… what follows that chapter was an amazing Mexican rooftop party, thrown by my really good friends here; Bryon and Denise (another example of how like attracts like – super cool friends of mine). Everyone brought Mexican food they had cooked (nowhere to buy Mexican food in our city, so had to be made specially) and we had a party on their roof, eating the food, drinking, chatting and enjoying the summer evening and views of the city from the roof and each other’s company under fairy lights and the lights of the city and the moon..

The party was hilariously cut short by the old people of the neighbourhood forming a group and asking my friends’ landlord to ask us for our party to decease. Not sure if we were making as much noise as drunken Koreans in other parts of the neighbourhood but we complied and moved the party to a bar in the university district near their house. A fun night and it was great to eat Mexican food again!

The following weekend was the usual partying in Gwangju and the one after that followed the food-based theme. My best friend here, Owen, threw a dinner party of delicious curries for a handful of us and his Korean co-workers. Best food I have eaten in ages and I gorged myself stupid! For the rest of that weekend I rested, exhausted from the previous weeks of non-stop partying.

The weekend after this, my good Korean friend, Misub, ordered a load of fresh Sashimi and threw a picnic by the river. On one of the last good summer evenings we enjoyed a cosy night by the river eating drinking, talking and playing guitar.

I love doing different things like this and am thankful to my great friends for organising such events. I came to Korea for a new challenge and adventure and have learned quickly that there is an easy and comfortable trap to fall into here in Gwangju of going to the same foreign hangouts and clubs and partying our time away. Now I feel too that it’s important to let go once in a while and be somewhere where we can feel we are back in the UK/US/Canada/Australia/South Africa/New Zealand but I don’t want to feel too comfortable doing this all the time and living for the weekend where I do this again and again.

I like the fact that many people I meet here who have come to Korea to teach English, realise they are here for a finite amount of time and so live life to the maximum. Because of the awareness of the short time they have here, they try new things and are less cautious and choose the challenging rather than comfortable life. Thinking back to my life in London I felt that I had lots of time and fell into comfortable patterns, not actually pushing myself or doing anything new. Here I have achieved and enjoyed so much in such a short space of time that I am thinking of engineering my life so that I only spend a short time in places so I am forced to constantly live this way. I find I am doing so much here to challenge myself.

This weekend has been the Korean holiday Chuesok, which is Korean thanksgiving. With an extra day off work me and two of my friends decided to continue to challenge ourselves with a motorcycle ride, to Yeosu, a beautiful coastal town over 100 miles away on the south coast of Korea.

I have been riding a motorcycle since I arrived in Korea, as it is a cheap and fast way to get about the traffic-blocked streets of Gwangju. Also bikes and repairs and gear are so much cheaper than back home, which actually makes the choice to ride a viable option!

I have always been against bikes, one of my best friends back home – Greg Beech has been an avid rider for years and I could not be convinced by his enthusiasm and would tell him it was wrong and dangerous despite having never once tried it myself.

Last summer in London I realised that this attitude may not be my own, it may be an inherited attitude from parents, friends etc. So in the spirit of doing everything that scares me I attended my CBT (compulsory bicycle training – basic training and exam to be able to ride a scooter or motorbike up to 125cc in the UK) with the excellent guys at Kickstart Rider training in East London

Upon passing I was proud, but forgot about all of that: hell, I hadn’t driven a car properly since passing my test at 22! Months later I arrive in L.A to spend a month in Southern California and step off my 14 hour flight into the car I had hired for a month and got that baptism of fire!

This challenge and experience gave me confidence (the confidence to buy a car in the UK and drive it for around the country for a few months before my move to Amsterdam) and the first night in the foreign bar during my first week here in Gwangju gave me the opportunity to buy my first motorbike.

“What am I doing? I can’t do this!” Went through my head a lot, but, five months later I am onto my second motorcycle (upgraded what I rode before) and am now in love with the freedom it gives me.

Of course there is danger and as in love as I am with honing my skill; I still feel a fear from time to time. I suppose the above answers why I choose to ride and this article explains the other more subtle reasons why I ride:

Motorcycling Leads To Serendipitous Discovery

So, the bike trip was amazing! I really felt the spirit of adventure when just heading off with what we could carry or strap to our bikes and heading for the coast!

I had some amazing moments during the trip; as it was a national holiday and we were avoiding the highways and were riding in less populated parts of the country, we had many roads to ourselves. I remember at one point riding along a beautiful coastal road with the sea on one side and an expanse of countryside on the other and seeing only my friend Scott and the moon in my mirrors and feeling a rush of being alive!

I can’t even put into words the feeling I felt, thinking NOTHING while my conscious mind is taken up controlling the bike and my subconscious just imbibes the beauty and the vibe of the view of the country and nature I am in.

I really feel within and part of wherever I am when riding through on the bike, where as in a car I feel more like a spectator.

The countryside was truly beautiful as you can see from the pictures and everytime we stopped in a town to eat or to sleep and party we seemed to have an adventure.

The trip was ace banter with the lads and we met some great people on the way and were forced to use our Korean more.

We realised on the trip that this is what we came to do, not just to see the same group of foreigners and vowed to do other trips soon.

After an amazing trip I feel invigorated in life generally and it has re-ignited my enthusiasm for this incredible country.

Today, I’m having some me time to get my things sorted out and ready for the autumn which has now officially started. I’m ready to accept and embrace the change.

That’s the end of this chapter… for now!

Steve
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Tags : Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Adventure…